Footprints and Monuments

Becoming A Successful Mentor

By Jeff Earlywine

Recently something happened to me that I may never forget. I was helping run a junior tennis evaluation with about twenty to twenty-five children. When the evaluation was finished I began to say goodbye to the kids and the parents. As the courts were clearing an elderly gentleman approached the court we were on with a basket of tennis balls and two rackets in hand. I quickly recognized him. He was my high school football coach.

This man was not just any ordinary football coach. He coached at our school for over twenty years, is one of the winningest high school football coaches in the state of Florida, and the stadium where the team plays is named after him. He is quite a legend.

Since I had not seen him for a few years I wanted to say hello. As we chatted for a few minutes, he told me he was waiting for his playing partner to arrive and if I wanted to hit a few balls with him he would appreciate it. He needed to work on his serve, so I took my position on the court and began to return balls back to him. Then it hit me; I am playing tennis with one of my mentors!!! Wow!!!! Memories began to fill my mind of all the things he taught me when I played football for him.

Who are you mentoring? Who is mentoring you? The origin of mentoring came from Homer’s Odyssey. The term “mentor” originated when Ulysses engaged the services of a wise man named Mentor. While Ulysses was fighting in the Trojan War, he needed someone to tutor his young son. He instructed Mentor to teach the boy “not only in book learning but also in the wiles of the world.”

There are several reasons why mentoring so important TODAY. For one, the family needs it. James Houston masterfully describes our cultural search for mentors in his recent book, The Mentored Life. He believes mentors are being sought out because, as a society, we are alienated from our history and past traditions. We have lost the connection with our elders. I believe this parallels our search for a significant relationship with our fathers and father figures. Children feel alienated and disconnected when fathers do not prize their existence, and they struggle with a sense of loss and detachment, searching for ways to fill that void in their hearts.

Secondly, the potential for a person’s success needs it. While working on a stockcar pit crew I observed something that demonstrates the importance of mentoring. The sight was hardly imaginable considering all the powerful tools that are available today. I saw a man trying his best to loosen a wheel’s lug nuts. He was using a very short and small socket and ratchet. To try to loosen each nut he was literally jumping up and down on the ratchet handle.

This is how it is in a person’s life. Without someone to help him use the right tools he will have to resort to learning things the hard way – the school of hard knocks. But if someone begins to mentor him/her then success has a better chance of being reached.

What does it takes to be a successful mentor? Just three things really; A caring heart, the ability to leap life’s hurdles with a single bound and the desire to share your life experiences.

A caring heart reaches out. Just like in the movie, Pay It Forward a small boy had a dream to change the world by reaching out. His dream started with a homeless man when he gave him money, a place to stay the night, clothes, and hope for a better tomorrow. All the man had to do was “pay it forward” to three other people. A small boy’s caring heart literally changed the world.

A caring heart also wants to see others reach their potential. We see this modeled in another movie, Mr. Holland’s Opus. In this movie we see a teacher that cares so much for his students that he even neglects his own family at times. While I don’t agree with neglecting your family, this teacher had a caring heart and wanted to change every student that came through his school. When he thought he had failed, and was packing his office to leave for the last time, he heard some noise coming from the auditorium. When he opened the doors he saw that the room was packed with screaming and cheering people. It was then that he realized he definitely had not failed, but had made a huge difference in hundreds (if not thousands) of lives.

Leaping life’s hurdles with a single bound, what does that mean? Many times we don’t step into a mentoring or coaching role because we feel inadequate, and often it is with our personality. You may feel that you don’t have the right personality or giftedness to help someone. Let me assure you that you do. If you are a people person then people will love to spend time with you. If you are perfectionist person then people will learn from your wisdom. If your personality is powerful in nature then people will grow from your challenges. And, if you are a peaceful person then people will love to share their inner-most feelings with you.

Sharing your life experiences is one of the greatest things you can do with anyone. We are all different, and yet we are all similar.  What life experiences do you have that you can share with others?

• Roots – Where you have come from
• Road Maps – Where you have been
• Laboratories – Things you have done
• Handles – How you have learned from your failures
• Wings – How you have hope in tomorrow

Share your life experiences with those you come in contact with. Share the places you have been, mistakes you have made, your dreams and goals, and your struggles and successes.

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